i think...
but im not sure...
that perhaps things are starting to get better

:}

time for sleep

everyday i wake up at 7 in the afternoon
i go to sleep at 9 in the morning
im wasting my limited days
it is upsetting
because im feeling like everything is so unsatisfactory, pointless and unfulfilling
i feel so incomplete without my honeybear
but she wont talk to me anymore
ive been rejected from everything and everyone
its an empty lost sort of feeling
and its horrifying
im such a disappointment
to myself and everyone that matter to me
and nothing is improving
i wish i knew how to fix it
instead of just sitting here complaining
because i am in full realization that life is not fair
and at times it can be bloody cruel
but what do i do?
thats the million dollar question!
w h a t d o i d o n o w ?
and im just paralyzed in terror because
i. dont. know.
im living in a nightmare


(my mood is not high btw my computers just taking a long time to load so i cannot change it so whatever)

fuck it all man
just FUCK IT
it all just makes me sick
im not going to listen to your fuckin complaining, im not going to eat your damn food, im not going to be that person, im not going to talk to her, im not going to deal with my life, the pills, the people, the emotions, ANYTHING! because its all one big bullshit story man. fuckin zombiefuck badass muthafucka! D:<
-catches breath/ calms down a bit-

...i like to say fuck

who the fuck just lit a random firework five seconds ago...? its june bro!

-who are you?
-im nobody;
being nobody is the easiest to remember
so remember it

...it went something like that...
>.~
jesus i need a fix

so i basically never upload or do anything on deviant art
as you can see those two in my gallery are from june of '07
ive been just going around appreciating other peoples masterpieces
but i think ill upload something soon
i left my sketchbook in art class so ill scan my 'mural' later
but be prepared for some intense mad skillz (lol, no)

Mhm, yep...
check out my babyboo Whispers DA, TheDandiestLion
and enjoy the profanity ;D

today i stayed home
i did some amazing eye make up
wore my moms white collar tee
and my only pair of capris, there gray and nice
[my school only lets us wear shorts on special days]
and snuck off to school
im playing with everyone
having an incredible time
i end up riding on my first love
[a stupid freshie]
and feeling him up
and after he plays catch with my cell phone with the two chris's and really bangs it up
i bite his neck and make him bleed!
it. was. awesome!
i walked home quickly so my mom didnt catch me
with some kid, whos a grade above me, and apparently has been stalking me!
and i found out that another freshie [i grew up with him!] smokes
and it was like...whoa, baby
this was all after i got attack by mohawk ducks and scary seagulls
it was quite fantastic
how was your day?